Insecure Episode 4: Lowkey Losin’ It

OK, so last week ended with Molly still being weird toward Issa and Lawrence having a bad case of the ex.

This week, Issa forgot to tell her tenants that the water would be off but what kind of relationship is this where the tenants can just walk up into her apartment? I think we need to talk about some boundaries here. It's kind of an interesting parallel. Issa has her tenants in her apartment, and meanwhile...

Andrew coming over to Molly’s place is hopefully a sign of something great. Has she finally figured out her life? I love how Molly is so committed to her work, but I also need her to do a better job of juggling the other areas of her life- romance, friendships, family. Like, GIRL. Get it together! Molly killed me when Andrew could tell that she was still thinking about work. And how do you let almost 5 hours pass before you realize that you’ve left your dude hanging while you were type, type, TYPING AWAY?! I like Andrew and Molly together, really, I do, but I need Molly to make time for this relationship otherwise he’s going to blame her job, she’s going to turn it into him not supporting her as an independent Black woman, and it’s going to all go up in flames. Prom-prom. But I don’t want that for Molly. I don’t want that for this show. I just want everyone to be happy and skip the self-sabotage along the way. Sheesh! Anyway, Andrew seems to be game even though Molly left him all alone in her bed for 5 hours. Homeboy basically got a full night’s sleep while she was working. Insane.

This parking duel between Issa and Molly. Is it really that serious? Issa being the bigger person is SO not my vibe, but word to her. How ironic that she is listening to the audiobook of “Becoming” before hearing the voicemail from Nate,who pulled a whole Future leaving a voicemail on some “you don’t have to call me back, just checking on you.” How does this dude live in L.A. with everybody else and still we have yet to see him? Anyway, Issa and Molly... did they basically make up in their weird interaction outside of Tiffany’s house? No one apologized but they’re lowkey cool again for “self care Sundays.” Yay, I guess.

New Parenthood

Tiffany WOULD have an oval baby crib. Derek voiced the thought process that I feel like all first time dads go through when they have a baby girl. That’s their baby and the crazy world is out there waiting to take advantage of them. When he revealed that the baby wasn’t planned... I have thoughts. (I imagine that) life changes when you have a baby. Plans you had to gallivant around the world change quite a bit. Also, the casualness of changing poopy baby diapers... bless their hearts. I hope I get there one day... mentally. Also friends with babies means that friendship looks different. I love my friends and their babies, but I’ve had girl talk over the background sounds of breast pumps, baby monitors, and screaming inconsolable babies and it becomes a new norm. Priorities change when you have a whole new life to be responsible for, so I feel Derek being a little sad about having to switch up life plans while still being totally on board and proud of being a dad.

The new norm here is Tiffany having her friends fold baby clothes while she sips wine and has girl time, which is a complete vibe. I’m just waiting for her to pull out a CBD lollipop as she cradles her baby to sleep. She voiced one of my biggest fears in how the doctors ignored her and she ended up having a blood clot. Childbirth is really... something. My friends who have had babies always tell me that it is nothing like they expected and that’s part of my anxiety around the whole experience. But that’s another post for another time. Tiffany is talking about how glad she is that Derek was there to advocate for her and has been great with the baby. Yes, for fathers supporting their new mommy wives and children! Molly had to chime in and make it sound like she and Andrew are doing very well, and when Issa cracks a joke, Molly feels some type of way again. So I take back what I said earlier- Issa and Molly definitely haven’t made up. Molly is still shady and totally in her feelings.

Kelli called it. Molly is def taking things out on Issa. I love Kelli, by the way. She says the things that no one wants to say and asks the questions that no one wants to ask. Molly is hating on Issa and Lawrence being cool (even though we know that’s going to blow up), yet she is still blowing off Andrew for work. Molly and Issa are both feeling weird about their relationship and talking to everyone but each other about their issues. Nothing is worse than when you have an issue with a friend and someone decides to take that PRIVATE matter to your mutual circle. I’m triggered, but yeah, just talk it out.

Andrew and Molly

How is Molly going to be mad at Andrew for making plans after their date night when she is always working and putting that before their fun? Andrew wasn’t even being weird about it, and she made it really awkward by the end of their date. Girl... you’re not afraid to tell him that you expect him to be cool on your terms even though you’ve been putting work first and neglecting your relationship? Kudos to Andrew for finding a way to deal with his negligent girlfriend. He even offered to cancel poker night with his boys for her. Forget feeling like an afterthought, he is. Andrew wants to make things work with her and Molly is finally realizing that she is sabotaging herself. I’m so glad that she told Andrew that he is her “main priority.” I feel like one of the best ways to lose a relationship is to not make the person you’re with feel like they’re a priority. I feel for Andrew. He actually reached out and tried to hang out with Molly and she used baby time at Tiff’s and work as an excuse. Those are both legitimate, but anyone would get tired of being turned down all the time when you’re not even attempting to show that you care. In her text, she could have proposed another day, something else for them to do together, or SOMEthing. Molly is so used to being hurt, ignored, and let down that it took her a while to see that this could be different if she put in a little more effort.

Molly and Issa

Issa should have never relied on Molly to make the connect with Andrew for a performer. Yes, she has the relationship with someone at a record label, but y’all are on the rocks. I know Issa was in a bind and Molly technically was her last resort, but this was not the best time to ask for a favor. Molly shouldn’t have agreed to ask Andrew when it was clear that she was uncomfortable with it but, for once, she did the right thing by calling Issa to tell her that she wasn’t going to ask him. Now everybody is feeling salty and I just want Issa and Molly to be okay again.

Hmmm... in this episode, I related to Issa, Molly, and Tiffany. The Issa in me knows what it feels like to have something dope planned and have the main attraction fall through. I know what it’s like to scramble to make things work and get resourceful to make something amazing happen. I know she’ll pull it together for this block party. I definitely understand the part of Molly that is sometimes too stubborn to be the bigger person in a conflict. Her issues with Issa could be solved with one quick conversation, but sometimes I try my best to avoid those conversations in hopes that things will work themselves out. It leaves you in the space of we’re cool (Issa calling Molly and Molly picking up her call, hoping for a good vent session) but we’re not that cool (Molly having to stand her ground in telling Issa that she can’t hook her up). And lastly, the Tiffany in me wants to be a chill new mom when the time comes. Sipping rose, having my friends fold baby clothes, and my husband taking care of the baby while I chill with my friends. OK, maybe not all of that, but most of it.

Next week should be fun!

XO, Tiye